This rat destroyed my coat. We're not speaking.

When my hair doesn't look nice I feel like none of me looks nice.

the letters, halvard johnson
Things are very difficult here.
The man in the next cell is out of his mind.
He keeps writing imaginary letters
to imaginary people, usually ex-wives
or girlfriends.
Because I'm a writer, he always asks me
to help, check his spelling, etc.
I think of you always,
you and the children.
They're beating the horses again.
Down in the cellar. In the dark.
I love you and miss you.
Why don't you ever write?
The sun is warm.
It's been months now.
Why don't you write?

You named your baby girl
Miami.
Strangers and deviants will hold her closer
Then you ever have.
When Miami sweats to just know why
You draw a picture of Miami as a meatball.
Everything looks better in paris!
You've explained. And all those tiny tears and rips inside your mouth will let you know.....
You're wrong to call a doll Miami

i had a dream that i went to Coney island and it had become overrun with all these beautiful stray dogs. I found an all white akita puppy that i absolutely fell in love with. I carried him in my arms all day and brought him back on the train. I really want an akita now.

connor is a very quiet sleeper. He kind of sounds like that echoey hollow swoosh down in passion puddle.

 

( eels )
One couple just loudly broke up while another kissed good bye, turned away, backs to each other and then looked embarassed when each turned around for one last peek.

 

-------------this was yesterday------------------


THIS IS TODAY:

Work, school, parents, friends, non-friends, and even my dearly beloved animals have been up my ass this entire week. Counting the motherfucking weeks until I'm out of here. 
Even though I'd really like to go home - that isn't happening.
 

I think I've finally decided what I want my first tattoo to be. I'm always waivering on the idea because it seems that my interests and passions are always changing and I just couldn't think of anything that defined Me. I knew that Tunny has been the most stable thing in my life and Peapod has brought me so much happiness (from where I didn't expect it) that I wanted something to represent them. I also didn't want something too trite like Tunny's pawprint (not knocking it, it's just not me).

My basic idea is a white ink rabbit either with a heart eye patch or the rabbit jumping through a heart (for those of you who don't know my family calls Tundra, Tunny Bunny, more then any other nameO. I know it will be behind my ear.

Here's a very rough video of my two babies. Please note they are both way out of practice and Tunny is under the weather! I wasn't going to have her do anything but she was dyeing to show up her sister :)

P.S. Peapod is a house rabbit and does interact with my dog regularly.

The American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior has just released their position statement on the use of dominance theory in behavior modification of animals.

http://www.avsabonline.org/avsabonline/images/stories/Position_Statements/dominance%20statement.pdf

It feels so good to be right.

My boss took a cell phone picture of me working today and sent it to me. It's not the best shot but it gives you an idea what I do at work (and why I love my job so much). Oh and the food is good too! 

Physically, mentally, theoretically, fundamentally, exitensially, exausted.

I started reading Jay's Journal. I know it's a bust but the author is such a heartless bitch that it feels real. I'm also reading Dante's Inferno. Randomly throughout the day the words, "Abandon all hope" pop into my head.  I think if they made us read this story in CCD I'd be a better Roman Catholic because I would have been scared shitless and as far as I can tell, that ultimately was their aim. 

Momma didn't raise no confessional slut. 

Being a librarian, she did manage to raise a book slut, though. If I had to be any kind of slut that's totally the one for me. College does offer up the oppurtunity to become a frat slut but I think if I use the word slut one more time an angel's going to lose some feathers. 

Tonight is a me, night. I need one. 

I yelled at Tunny today and she started shaking. Poor thing. It's tough to be a bug. 

This is how we watched Grey's today. :)

I'm beginning to think they are coldblooded vermin that leech heat from my laptop.

The Velveteen Rabbit, Margery Williams.

"What is real?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

my hero doesn't wear tights
and my hero rarely wins fights
and she hasn't got super anything
or even anything (for a girl)
and she can fit in just fine with the low life like us
she just stands still and watches her world rust
she's ten steps above us and twenty steps back
and she sleeps in the rubble of her heart where it cracked
-My Favorite Pokemon